The phone rings & surprise!
It’s your mother calling & the last 40 years
Haven’t happened: your father’s alive,
Your sisters speak, your wife’s days
Are not yet spent rehearsing for her widowhood,
& you, you are still a 16-year-old fuck-up
Who has stayed out too late w/o calling
Her—. Again.
If she could see the death mask
Your face has become, she’d know you’d paid
The bill for those mistakes. Those—, & 1,000
Others. All that bourbon to say grace over,
All your lapses. & you will say grace
When the time comes—. Believe that.
Until then—, all you can say is: Forgive me,
Mama. I’ll be home soon. No need to worry.
~ from Still Life (McSweeney’s 2022)
